Jack the Ripper

Ok, so my post isn't really going to be about Jack the Ripper. I try to come up with fun titles that semi-match my question. And the ? is about ripping your pants. So Jack the Ripper is all I could think of. And now I had to waste my and your precious time by explaining that. Ah well. (The movie poster is for a great Jack the Ripper movie. You gotta see it. Since it is about J the R, it is very gory. Just a little warning there.)

So, moving on.

You're out to lunch with your coworkers. Not your buddy coworkers. The higher up kind that you really want to impress. You sit down... You hear and feel a RIP! Oh crap! Did you just rip your pants? To check, when no one is looking, you slip your hand under your bottom and yup... there's a rip there. It's a good sized one too. Oh crap! Inside your head, you think every curse word you know... and invent some too. (Yes, I said 'bottom' and not butt. I guess it's a teacher thing)

Now, luckily the meal just began, so you have time to think out a plan of what to do. The waitress comes, you order a water and a salad (You want to impress your coworkers by having them think you're a very health-conscious person... Very mature). The waitress comes back and goes to hand you the water. As you reach for it, you feel another RIP! Oh crap! The rip just got bigger! You try to act cool. You gotta figure out a course of action.

Do you:

1. All stealth-like text message your sister saying to call you in about 20 minutes. Perfect timing, she calls you just as everyone is getting up to go. Tell everyone it's a business call, that they should go on, and you'll take a taxi back to work. Then run to the nearest Walmart and buy a quick pair of pants that look similar to the ones you just ripped.
2. When it's time to leave, tell everyone to go ahead while you pay the check. This way you'll stay behind them the whole time, and so not showing them your holey bottom. Paying the $100 is a small price to pay. Besides, you'd also be impressing them with your generosity. Spend the rest of the day carefully manuvering around the office so as to not expose that bottom.
3. Feign illness. That chicken in your salad must have been under-cooked. Food poisening... Works every time! And hey- maybe you can even take the next day off work too! Party hardy!
4. Just tell them... It's a risk, but maybe they'd get a kick out of it. You could turn into the cool kid!

By the by... Did anyone every figure out who Jack the Ripper was? Or is it still a mystery?